(CHORUS)
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the engineers
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish fourty beers
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum and come along with us
For we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us

Godiva was a lady who through coventry did ride.
To show to all the villagers her lovely lilly white hide.
The most observant villager, an Engineer of course,
Was the only one that noticed that Godiva road a horse.

I've come a long, long way she said, and I will go as far,
With the man who takes me off this horse, and leads me to a bar.
The men who took her of her stead, and stood her to a beer,
Were a bleary-eyed Surveyor and a drunken Engineer.

My father was miner from the Northern Malamute,
My mother was mistress in a house of ill-repute,
They kicked me out at a tender age for drinking all their beer,
Saying get to Guelph, you Son Of a Bitch, and become an engineer.

My mother peddles opium, my father's on the dole,
My sister used to walk the streets, but now she's on parole,
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear,
But none of them will talk to me 'cause I'm an Engineer.

A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in a park,
The Engineeer was busy doing research after dark,
His scientific method was a marvel to observe,
While his right hand wrote the figures, his left hand traced the curves.

An Artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can.
Said the Artsman, "Match me drink for drink and prove that you're a man."
They drank three drinks, the Artsman died, his face was turning green.
But the Engineer drank on and said, "It's only gasoline"!

The Army and the Navy boys set out to have some fun,
Down at the local tavern where the firely liquids run,
But all they found were empties, for the Engineers had come,
And traded in their instruments for gallon kegs of rum.

Now Venus is statue made entirely of stone,
There's not a fig leaf on her, she's as naked as a bone;
On noticing her arms were broke, an Engineer discoursed,
Of the course the damn thing's broke, it should be reinforced.

After reading Kama Sutra, they tried position number 9,
For proving masculinity, it truly was divine.
But then one day the girl rebelled and threw him on his rear,
For he was a feable Artsie and she an Engineer.

By now you've heard our story and you know we're Engineers,
Unlike the stupid Artsies, we will end up careers.
An engineer from U of Guelph earns roughly 60 G's,
And artsie with a Ph.D. will work at Mickey D's.

I used to work in Chicago, at the old department store,
I used to work in Chicago, I don’t work there anymore,

A woman came in for a hammer,
A hammer from the store,
A hammer she wanted, nailed she got!
OH!
I don’t work there anymore.

Carpet she wanted, shagged she got!
Nails she wanted, screwed she got!
A rod she wanted, my pole she got!
Meat she wanted, sausage she got
Beef she wanted, porked she got
A camel she wanted, humped she got
A drill she wanted, reamed she got
Jewelry she wanted, a pearl necklace she got
A kit cat she wanted, four fingers she got
Juicy-fruit she wanted, my big red she got
A helicopter she wanted, my chopper she got
A translator she wanted, a cunning linquist she got
A pencil she wanted, pen-iteration she got
Assistance she wanted, my aids she got
Bolts she wanted, my nuts she got
Brass bath tub she wanted, golden shower she got
Butter she wanted, spread she got
Coffee she wanted, my cream she got
Cucumber she wanted, my pickle she got
A dinosaur she wanted, mega soar ass she got
An elevator she wanted, my shaft she got
Fabric she wanted, felt she got
A floppy disk she wanted, my hard drive she got
A glazed doughnut she wanted, cream filled she got
A gun she wanted, banged she got
A jumper she wanted, jumped she got
Lobster she wanted, crabs she got
Liquor she wanted, lick her I did
Lumber she wanted, my wood she got
A needle she wanted, pricked she got
A piano she wanted, my organ she got
Plastic she wanted, rubbers she got
Plumbing she wanted, my pipe she got
A ruler she wanted, 12 inches she got
Sailors she wanted, semen she got
A screen door she wanted, the back door she got
A spring she wanted, boinged she got
T-bone she wanted, my boneless round she got
Velvet she wanted, felt up she got
Eggs she wanted, fertilized she got
Stamps she wanted, licked she got
A light switch she wanted, turned on she got
A Mars bar she wanted, the Hershey highway she got
Nylons she wanted, my hose she got
A lollipop she wanted, licked she got
A horse she wanted, ridden she got
Fucked she wanted, fucked she got
Hey bob a re bob,
Oh pass the whiskey,
I wish that all the ladies,
Were bells in the tower,
And I was Quasi Modo,
I’d bang ‘em by the hour,

Hey bob a re bob,
Oh pass the whiskey,
I wish that all the ladies,
Were pies on a shelf,
And I was a baker,
I’d eat ‘em all myself,

Hey bob a re bob,
Oh pass the whiskey,
I wish that all the ladies,
Were holes in a road,
And I was a dump truck,
I’d fill ‘em with my load,

Hey bob a re bob,
Oh pass the whiskey,
I wish that all the ladies,
Were bricks in a pile,
And I was a mason,
I’d lay ‘em all in style,

Hey bob a re bob,
Oh pass the whiskey,
I wish that all the ladies,
Were statues of venus,
Cuz they’d have no arms,
To push away my penis,

Hey bob a re bob,
Oh pass the whiskey,
I wish that all the ladies,
Were holes in a tree,
And I Was A Squirrel,
I’d fill em with my nuts,

Hey bob a re bob,
Oh pass the whiskey,
I wish that all the ladies,
Were lines on a highway,
And I was a trucker,
I’d drive ‘em all my way

Hey bob a re bob,
Oh pass the whiskey,
I wish that all the ladies,
Were sheep in the grass,
And I was a Shepherd,
I’d shag ‘em up the ass,

Hey bob a re bob,
Oh pass the whiskey,
I wish that all the ladies,
Were fish in the sea,
And I was a sperm whale,
I’d save ‘em all for me!

Hey bob a re bob,
Oh pass the whiskey,
I wish that all the ladies,
Were grain in a bin,
And I was an auger,
I’d stick it in and spin!

The Yogi Bear Song
I know a bear from Jellystone Park,
Yogi, Yogi,
I know a bear from Jelleystone Park,
Yogi Yogi bear

Yogi has a Girlfriend bear,
Cindy, Cindy
Yogi has a Girlfriend bear,
Cindy Cindy Bear

Cindy likes lingerie,
Teddy, Teddy,
Cindy likes lingerie,
Teddy Teddy Bear

Cindy likes it in the eye,
Panda, Panda,
Cindy likes it in the eye,
Panda Panda Bear

Cindy doesn't use her teeth,
Gummy, Gummy,
Cindy doesn't use her teeth,
Gummy, Gummy Bear

Cindy likes thick and long,
Black Bear, Black Bear,
Cindy likes it big and long,
Black Black Bear

Cindy likes it big and rough,
Grizzly, Grizzly,
Cindy likes it big and rough,
Grizzly Grizzly Bear

Cindy likes it from behind,
Brown Bear, Brown Bear,
Cindy likes it from behind,
Brown Brown Bear

Cindy likes it against the fridge,
Polar, Polar,
Cindy likes it against the fridge,
Polar Polar Bear

Cindy likes it by herself,
Cucum, Cucum,
Cindy likes it by herslef,
Cucum Cucum Bear

Cindy has great big tits,
More then, More than,
Cindy has great big tits,
More than More than I can bear

Cindy likes upside down,
Koala, Koala,
Cindy likes upside down,
Koala Koala Bear

Cindy likes to threesome,
Lucky, Lucky,
Cindy Likes to threesome,
Lucky Lucky Yogi Bear

Cindy likes it on the rag,
Red Bear, Red Bear,
Cindy Likes it on the rag,
Red Red Red Bear

Cindy likes to snuggle after sex
Care Bear, Care Bear,
Cindy likes to snuggle after sex
Care Care Bear

(Chorus)
Orgies make the world go round, the world go round, the world go round.
Orgies make the world go round, so let’s all have an orgy.
.....Aww.....Yay!

Verses:
At my orgy, there is going to be only two women... for every guy!
At my orgy there’ll only be one woman... your mom!
At my orgy, I am bringing the police... someone has to bring the handcuffs!
At my orgy, there is going to be no fucking on the dance floor... but there sure as hell will be no dancing on the fuck floor!
At my orgy, there is only going to be one mattress... from wall to wall
At my orgy, there is be no electric sex toys... only kick start diesels!
At my orgy, there is only going to be one chair... my face!
At my orgy, [insert name] is going to bet here... well someone has to mop up!
At my orgy, there'll be no jam... but there will be plenty of k-y jelly
At my orgy, [insert name]'s mom will be 100 bucks... but [insert different name]'s mom will be free
At my orgy, there’ll only be one diffies prof... but he’s gonna fuck everyone
At my orgy, there’ll only be one woman... [insert name]'s mom!
At my orgy, there's only going to be one keg... of whipped cream!
At my orgy, there's only going to be one keg of beer... per person!
At my orgy, the firemen are gonna show up... from the smell of burning rubber!
At my orgy, there isn't gonna be a barbecue... but there'll be lots of well-done meat with secret sauce!
At my orgy, the circus is gonna be there... and they're bringing the midgets!
At my orgy, everyone is going to have to go... but not before they come!
At my orgy, there is only going to be three girls/guys... for every guy/girl!
At my orgy, there is only going to be one girl... for each finger!
At my orgy, everyone will be wearing clothes... made from saran wrap!
At my orgy, my parents are gonna be there... someone's got to show us how to do it!
At my orgy, there won't be any entomologists... but there'll be plenty of buggery!
At my orgy, there will only be one sheep... but we can clone more!
At my orgy, N-Sync isn't coming... but there'll be plenty of screaming preteens!
At my orgy, my parents aren't gonna be there... but yours are!
At my orgy, my there will only be one doctor... but there will be plenty of nurses
At my orgy, there will be no one... 'cause we will all be at (insert name)’s down the street
At my orgy, there wont be any food... but there will be lots of eating out
At my orgy, there will be no math... but there will be plenty of physics
At my orgy, there will be no kissing... but there will be plenty of blowing